I Rewatched Chicago P.D.’s First Big Upton Episode, And I’m Really Going To Miss Tracy Spiridakos

Chicago P.D. won’t be the same without Hailey Upton.

Chicago P.D. may still be on its prolonged hiatus between Seasons 10 and 11, but some big news recently broke about what’s on the way. Tracy Spiridakos, who has been playing Detective Hailey Upton since the end of Season 4, is set to leave the hit NBC drama. While it’ll be hard to blame the character if she decides to leave Intelligence after everything she’s gone through, fans have to wait to find out any details. I decided that it was time to rewatch the very first big Upton episode of P.D., and I have a number of thoughts that really amount to how much I’m going to miss the actress.

Upton’s First Big Episode: “Ghosts”

“Ghosts” aired as Episode 18 of Season 5 back in 2018, and the description from Peacock is “Upton tries to take down a meth ring spearheaded by a former contact.” That simple description doesn’t really do justice to what Hailey went through, as that former contact had also assaulted her and killed the man she loved but managed to get out of prison anyway. She wanted justice (and closure) for Garrett, whose body was never found.

This technically wasn’t the first Chicago P.D. installment that shifted the focus to Upton, as that was “Fallen” earlier in Season 5. But I still think that “Ghosts” is the first that really highlighted the character as more than just a cop, and counts as the first big Upton episode. We learned more about her past and why she is the way that she is, and it may still be my favorite Upton episode to date. So, it wasn’t exactly a chore to revisit it after the news of the actress leaving, and here are my biggest takeaways from revisiting “Ghosts.”

Tracy Spiridakos Crushed It

If there was ever any doubt that Upton was a worthy addition to the Intelligence Unit or that Tracy Spiridakos could anchor an episode, “Ghosts” was one big showcase of the character and the actress. It may be easy to forget in the wake of Season 10, but Upton was slow to open up to her fellow officers in her first full year with the unit, and generally stayed as close to the straight and narrow as possible.

Episode 18 of Season 5 presented different challenges for the actress, as she had to sell that Upton had a very deep backstory with Ron Booth (Titus Welliver) but was working very hard to keep any of her emotions from showing to her coworkers. Throw in an action scene and Upton trying (and failing) to not break down in front of Halstead by the end, and Tracy Spiridakos really crushed “Ghosts.”

In fact, her work in this episode really previewed what she’d be able to deliver years later, in what I consider one of her best performances of the series: Season 9’s “In the Dark,” when Upton was slowly but surely breaking due to the guilt of what she and Voight did. “Ghosts” was just the first episode to show her at her best.

The First Big Upstead Episode

“Ghosts” isn’t just what I consider the first big Upton episode; for me, it’s also the first big Upstead episode. While Upton was trying to hold in her emotions about investigating Booth and getting justice for Garrett, Halstead was breaking down her barriers one by one. Sure, he had to go to the cop who had handled her first undercover case against Booth to find out about her assault, but his promise that he wanted to help seemed to make all the difference for her.

They weren’t romantic in the slightest in this episode, and “Ghosts” was actually the one and only hint that she’d deeply loved somebody before Halstead. (Call me an Upstead diehard, but I do not count the Upzek era.) Hailey and Jay were great friends and partners long before they made the jump into a romance, and this was the case that established the “thing” that works between them. For a show as procedural as Chicago P.D., two characters bonding and building a relationship stands out.

“Ghosts” took place after Halstead’s messy arc of getting over losing Erin and his disastrous relationship with Camila the drug dealer, so he was finally on solid ground to bond with his partner, and it helped uncover layers to Upton. Theirs would go on to become arguably the most important relationship of the series for a few seasons. Just as I missed Jesse Lee Soffer as Halstead after he departed in Season 10 (and when I rewatched those early episodes), I can already tell that episodes like “Ghosts” will make me miss Tracy Spiridakos.

Booth Could Have Been Her Nemesis

I won’t lie – for as difficult as this case was on Upton, I’ve always wanted Chicago P.D. to bring back Titus Welliver as Ron Booth. He was disturbing in his portrayal of Booth’s obsession with her, and he had the kind of chemistry with Tracy Spiridakos that would have made him a great nemesis for her. After all, even though the episode ended with Booth behind bars and Upton letting go of her need for revenge, she never did find out where Garrett was buried.

Rewatching “Ghosts” just reminded me that I would still love to see P.D. revisit Booth and Garrett before the end of Spiridakos’ time on the show. Getting closure could be a motivator for her to move on from Intelligence, since I’m choosing to believe that P.D. is going to give her as happy an ending as possible for this show.

That said, going back to Booth seems unlikely to me at this point. A lot of time has passed since Episode 18 of Season 5, and Upton even got a new nemesis in Season 10 with Sean O’Neal, played by Yellowstone‘s Jefferson White. Sadly, Booth seems to have been one-and-done on Chicago P.D. with “Ghosts.”

How You Can Rewatch Tracy Spiridakos’ First Big Episode

Luckily, it’s not hard to find “Ghosts” to revisit. Every episode of Chicago P.D. so far is available streaming with a Peacock Premium subscription, and I’d recommend rewatching this particular episode if you’re thinking about losing Upton when Season 11 finally premieres.

Of course, there’s no saying at this point when Season 11 will be ready for broadcast. The WGA writers strike and ongoing SAG-AFTRA actors strike mean that Chicago P.D. hasn’t restarted production since the end of Season 10, so we can only wait for details.